back to school means it's back to eating jack links in my dorm room to get through the awkward times between classes. let's hear it for beef jerky everyone it is truly unappreciated. my whistling endeavors i discussed last time are slow going, so far my whistling has gotten louder but not any more tuneful. oh well it's a start and the year is young. my classes are cool so life is good (english course on games hahahaha. sounds fun right but we have to read in middle english. what the hell) and that is that for school. i have been making updates to my site, made a page to post my original music because i like having them out there but i didn't want to post most of them to youtube, so now it's all just here. on the cooler gleeful pebble page. next up i think i will redo my banner thing because the colors are too dark and don't stand out well against the background. also it is so cold out but i keep forgetting to put on gloves and then when i realize (because my hands are cold) it's like. well shit it's too late now i'm already outside and my hands are already cold. i will have to work out some sort of system for remembering about gloves. i have still been watching so much soul eater and i still love crona, i'm so invested in the story now, i do not know where it is going but i have been told the manga is very different, i plan to read it after i finish the anime so that i don't get any wires crossed. i really am excited about that games class though, i bet i can use it as an excuse to work on my game and get a bunch of people to play it, or maybe even help with it? there have got to be people in this class who get coding better than me and my self-taught youtube tutorial html understanding, surely one of them will understand how the planetarium answer logging system works and help me do something like that. but yeah things are going well, two weeks into january and nothing terrible has happened, things are looking up. i probably just jinxed myself there, i would spit three times but i'm not really sure how to write that out in text. imagine the sound of it though. ... okay that was probably enough great it's fine. this is such a cool blog they should print this stuff. okay that's all for now -eli
it is the new year. january. 2025. sure to be a banner year because 2025 is such a good number, let me count the ways:
square number (45 squared)
what's that? it's also 25x81, which is two more squares
it's also apparently the sum of the first nine cubes (1+8+27 etc) which sounds very cool
it ends in five and numbers that end in five make me feel calm and at ease for unknowable reasons. everyone has numbers that make them happy and numbers that make them upset right?
two twos (this one is motly filler i don't really care about the twos. but lists should have an odd number of items in them)
okay anyway. i don't really do resolutions but i have made a list of things to learn over the course of the year and top of the list is whistling. i'm not even sure if you can learn to whistle but i want to improve my whistling, i feel like i should be better at it. i'm also trying to get more comfortable working in an actual daw instead of just using jummbox forever so i will return to my endless struggling with cakewalk. no paid daws for me, if i'm going to be annoyed at a program i'm at least going to take solace in not having paid money to be annoyed by it. i'm working on a song to test the program out and it is going fine so far maybe i'll post it. but ugh writing midi by hand always takes forever, of course i decide i'm going to finally use a daw so i can use my keyboard as a controller and then i'm away from my keyboard >:( why did i plan it this way... oh yeah i saw the hockey game i was talking about and we totally fucking crushed it, one of our few wins lately i was so glad i got to see it. hockey fans sure are loud though yikes. i am also trying to get better with noise that is another item on my list of goals for the year, i mean i don't know how much i can really do considering, but i will try to desensitize myself. i really am so picky with noise though, i can't stand no noise but even slightly too much noise makes me feel like my head is exploding, it's nuts. this will also be the year of me coming back to youtube, i have decided it. i'm so close to that monetization threshold (well in subscribers anyway, i'm only a quarter of the weay there in watch time hours because my videos are so short, i haven't worked out a plan for longer videos yet but i will at some point) and i am going to reach that this year, i am speaking it into the world. also i am going to work on my game and this site in general. plus school and working tech for shows. maybe this is too many goals to keep up with. thank gd i don't have anything silly like "getting fit" or "eating better" so i can focus all of my energy on learning how to whistle in tune. priorities. i joke but i think these are genuinely good priorities so whatever. i am going to enjoy how good of a number 2025 is before anything happens to give the year a particular vibe ingrained into its character, and that will be that. that's all for now -eli
alright first night of chanukah, very fun. eight nights of socks and novelty rubber ducks most likely but i enjoy those things. i hope somebody gets me one of those scrimshaw teeth, i was in an antique store the other day and i saw one but it was too pricy. anyway they're so cool and they make cheap replica ones so you don't even have to feel weird about the whales. i am getting a pretty sweet present of getting to see a hockey game so that is great. i've been watching glee again (haven't seen it in four years why am i watching it again) and i'm going to see the wicked movie soon, know i'm late on that, real theater kid moments over here. i think the whole "theater kid" thing is stupid honestly, the amount of fully grown adult people who go "oh i'm such a theater kid lmao" and it's like. you are 27. what are you talking about. i was genuinely a theater kid though, like jumping around in front of the tv pretending to be peter pan at age three sort of theater kid (the mary martin version not the disney one of course, don't get it confused. although to be honest i was watching the cathy rigby recording from 2000 cause that's what my parents had on video. still good). man i wanted to be peter pan so bad, i practically lived in a peter pan costume from ages three to eight. baby's first special interest i guess. it transitioned very easily into real historical pirates which i still find interesting today. not quite sure when the addams family came into the picture but it sure did stay in the picture, they're still the only things i can draw after so long copying the charles addams cartoons. anyway. i think all the memeing around the concept of theater kids just kinda sucks, like why does everyone have to be so self-aware all the time, why can't we all just have interests without being like "gd i'm such a person who has this interest, aren't i?" like who cares, stop trying to be relateable for tiktok yknow? just do the thing. (much like angela bassett, who quite famously did the thing. do people still remember that) anyway being home has been alright and my grades have been coming back okay so far. i redid this page so every post is in a collapsible, i feel like that's more space efficient. maybe once it hits 2025 i'll separate them by year? who knows. lots of formatting to consider. alright probably the last blog post until the new year? ehh who knows i am unpredictable maybe it won't be. but it probably will be. okay bon voyage blog readers -eli
almost 2025, huh? i'm probably going to have to reformat this page soon, maybe use the page navigation system to go between years? i could also make every post collapsible, that would make it easier to read through the page i guess. i'm sure there's also a better system than writing blog posts in the html of this page in one long uninterupted line, nothing bad has happened so far but i imagine many more entries down the line this will make the page load very slowly? i'm not actually sure if that's true, that's how little i understand about coding. i think i'll just work on the format for now and we'll see if the page gets super slow eventually. anyway i am back home so that is nice, i am hanging out with my dog and not thinking about what my grades are going to be. (i'm not going to think about it, nothing i can do now) (wisdom of the cat) in other news, there is a business that has opened up like a block away from me that seems surprisingly cool for something in my neighborhood (recording studio...whoa) because nothing is ever in my neighborhood haha. i emailed them my resume because like imagine if they showed me how to mix actual music... okay enough of that, if i keep talking about where i live i think i will dox myself so, shutting up now. anyway, i am trying to listen to more music lately, i have a list like a mile long. and with such long, daunting discographies it makes my head spin. like why did i want to get into screeching weasel, why am i doing this to myself. that's mostly a joke, i love to listen to the full discography of an artist in order, you get to see how they changed album by album. or like, didn't change, if you're listening to horror punk bands which was the last one of these deep dives i was doing. every album i finished i would think "i hope the next album has 10-15 more songs exactly like those" and blitzkid did not disappoint me. so yeah i guess in terms of website goals, redoing this page so it's easier to deal with is next, then maybe putting some of my original songs up on here, and finally fleshing out the music page after what, like five months? oh well this whole thing is a work in progress anyway. alright take care for now blog readers -eli
oh boy final woes are almost over. i am nearly done with one paper and just starting on the other one i need to do. can you hear the stress behind that bold text there. oh boy. anyway it will all be over by the end of today so like. wahoo i guess. you may be asking "eli if your papaers are due at midnight why are you wasting time writing a blog post" and to that i say you should have a good enough understanding of my general character from reading these posts to know i don't do things that make sense. but really i've been trying to get started writing for a bit this morning and i just can't so this is me attempting to trick my brain into getting into the flow of writing again so here we go. this time tomorrow i will be on a train back home, and once i'm home i will get to do wonderful things like hang out with my dog and sleep in a room by myself. soon enough i'm going to get to watch the islanders play live and barzal and duclair will be back from injury for it! i mean how exciting is that, what a great time to see a game. it's going to be chanukah and my ebay warrior skills have payed off tremendously. i've gotten people good gifts for excellent prices (guess who got a typically $50 item for only $20? and that's $20 including shipping by the way, what a steal. i choose not to think of this as scamming people, i'm just agreeing with them that the price they set was good) so i'm feeling good about the holidays. you're not supposed to tell people that you got a good deal on gifts because i guess they're supposed to mean more if they were expensive, but growing up my family always said that the best word in the english language was free and the second best word was sale so i feel like my perspective on this is a bit skewed. if someone tells me they spent less money on something for me than they were expecting to on something i just want to cheer them on for getting a good deal haha. hmm what else is good... it was snowing for like five minutes this morning, that was nice. OH ALSO i've been reformatting the home page of my site, i think it looks a lot better now and i don't know why i waited so long to change it. i don't know if i'm going to redo any other pages, i'll see what i feel like. i kinda want to learn some more css so i can restyle the audio player on the tunes page, and also make some more playlists for it. if any page needs more attention i think it's that one. okay i feel like i am in the writing groove now so i should probably use that energy for my essay now, six pages to write, wish me luck! -eli
my classes are officially over for the semester, which means i've left myself a week to do the final projects yaaaay no actually it's terrible. one day i will stop being a horrible procrastinator. but instead of changing my ways and doing my homework i have mainly been watching dragula and feeling baffled at my lack of ability to talk to other human beings. i swear it feels like most of the time i'm not even the same species as anybody else, that's how bad i bungle every conversation. oh well, it's been that way forever and i don't think it'll ever change so whatever, no point in moping about it for too long. i get really emo in some of these blog posts don't i, i'm sure these can't be pleasant to read. in fun news i am currently camped out over some ebay bids, i am a true ebay warrior and i am on that website at least once a day. now it is gift season and i have to get people shit for chanukah, so it's time to win some critical bids here in order for things to come in time. wish me luck with my ebay battless, they will be harshly won. also the islanders are on a two-game win streak after a truly awful couple of weeks, two wins may not sound like a lot to most but to an isles fan it is something to cheer from the mountaintops. last week if you told me the only good thing i would have going on was the islanders perfomance i would have laughed at you, so like. good times. idk what else to talk about, can't believe it about the alleged healthcare shooter guy being caught, though i really don't think it was the guy they're talking about, it just seems really suspicious to me the way they found all this evidence like a week after the fact, like wouldn't he have dumped stuff by then? again i don't want to get into conspiracy territory or anything, but it's not like the nypd hasn't planted evidence before...i just wouldn't be surprised if this is just some dude they've pinned shit on to try and get people to stop talking about the case is all i'm saying. okay there's no way that belongs in this type of blog but fuck it i'm keeping it in anyway. you know that old diary that's like "school sucked today. man landed on moon" yknow that one? that's what this is, i've decided it. alright that's it though, blog over. -eli
sure is december, huh? got a few days off from school to go see my family and they are the same as always; mom worrying about my wherabouts if i don't keep her updated every ten seconds and dad trying to show me all his genius facebook posts where he argues with his right-wing coworkers but then also making homophobic jokes every few minutes (strange man, impossible to know beforehand what kind of reaction he will have to anything, this is why i don't tell him anything) so it's nice to know that they didn't change too much while i've been away. at least i didn't have to deal with both of their holiday neuroses on the same day, another win for divorce. but that's enough about my family, other parts of the holiday were nice, like i got to ride on a train a lot (hooray for trains) and i got to eat real pizza instead of the cardboard shit they have around here. and i got to avoid thinking about all my missing assignments for a bit! yaywhydididothistomyself. i had been such a good student until like a week or two ago and now that facade has collapsed and i have missing shit in like. three classes. and all i can think about is oh no... my assignmence (everyone's seen that tumblr post that's like "ingredience" right? i never know what's tumblr vernacular and what is common on online spaces more generally). so yeah i am kinda doomed i think. but my grades have been good so far in my classes so i fail to how it could totally ruin anything for me. if this statement becomes ironic later i don't care, it makes sense in the current moment. but good news at least i can see an islanders game at the end of december wahoo. all hockey guys say wahoo when they're excited it's standard celly procedure actually, i obviously fit in great with other hockey fans can't you just tell from my general demeanor? (i do love to say wahoo though. i'm team wahoo like that one catcrumb. man i love catcrumb i should make a page on here to compile all my favorite catcrumbs. well. things for later i guess). wow i am being very cynical in this one, sorry about that i will try to cheer up. the vibes are decidedly off though. i have been sleeping so much lately and yet i am still so tired. now i have to go finish my work for classes, they will be a week late but that will have to do. wahoo -eli
well. as of yesterday the show i was working on is over. it was a really great production, and there were only a few slight mishaps, and only a small percentage of those were my falut so yay (i handed an actor a shirt inside out for a change and didn't realize until it was almost too late. i did catch it but oh man is that going to haunt me). but yeah it was a great time and i'm happy to have worked on it. but you know that kind of empty feeling you get after a show wraps? i sure am feeling that. and yet somehow strike was my favorite part of it? not because i didn't like doing the show, i just always enjoy seeing things get dismantled and getting to put stuff away. it's kinda sad but also very fulfilling, and it's so cool when there's a whole system and everything has a place and you get to see how the system works. am i making any sense right now i can't tell. i got to coil like a thousand cables and let me confess that even as a so-called audio guy i'm shit at coiling still, the whole over under thing is so hard, it doesn't look like it when you see the really experienced people do it in like two seconds but oh man am i not experienced at it. ugh i'm still thinking about how uneven all my coils were, i spent a lot of today watching videos on it and practicing the motion just to feel a little more confident at it. oh well, i'll have time to get good, it's not like all the people who are good at this stuff come out the womb knowing how to do it, they've been doing this for decades and i've only ever worked on a couple of shows. i can't wait for the next one, i guess that's the main takeaway here. i do unfortuneatley have the kind of adhd where if i'm not doing anything right this second i start to freak out and if i don't have some sort of long term project to deal with i really start to freak out. so i am trying to stay out of the freak out zone, which i guess i will have to fill with final projects and exams for my classes. oh the indignity. i wish i could just work on shows all the time that would be so awesome. it makes me super tired but at least i know what i'm doing while i'm working on one, ass opposed to the rest of the time where i have no fucking clue what is happening ever. okay i do need to sleep so i will have to end this blog post here. i think insead of dreaming of sheep i will dream of over under coiling in all its deceptively simple beauty. -eli
well my life has been hectic. i have been working wardrobe tech for a show which means i have to come in earlier than everybody else to put laundry in dressing rooms and then stay later than everyone else to do the laundry... fun times. except not really, i miss doing sound so much, i wish they let me do sound again i love to push buttons and move sliders and wear cool headphones. the quick changes are fun though. (the only weird part of it is having to interact with the actors, i've been around actors for like my whole life and i still do not understand why they are so loud and energetic. like seriously you guys jump around in front of lights all day how are you so bubbly and open to conversation. if i have to be around people one second longer than i was expecting to i start trying to see if i can explode things with my mind. so far this has not proved fruitful though). we start doing shows soon which is wild to me, this has so quickly just become what i do with my days, hard to imagine it soon will not be. i think after it is done i will sleep for thirteen hours. anyway now i have time to write this blog post, which is really stolen time that i should be spending on writing an essay but ignore that things will happen when they happen. (stolen time is a fun concept for this actually, i should use that from now on. "procrastination? no no, it's just a little rubato, don't worry about it"). in positive news i'm in a music class and we have final compositions to work on, and my professor said the melody i was working on was lovely so that's nice. now i just need to come up with a b section and that's one deadline met. my progress on all other deadlines is worse, because of course when you steal time to do one thing you then have less time to do all the other things. this has got to be nerdiest blog i've written so far, how many more ways can i say "i like music and theater and getting to touch audio equipment" am i right? if only i was the kind of nerd who went "yay an essay" and then wrote my essay. but alas, that's the one kind of nerd i am not. well, that and warhammer, i never got that either. who has the dexterity to paint all those little figurines, let alone the patience? i am also debating taking a computer science class eventually, because i do enjoy this html stuff but the idea of proper programming frightens me deeply i have to admit. oh well, i guess i should go spend like half an hour on that essay before i have to leave to do more tech for ten million hours. gd i'm always le tired lately and it's because i'm out til 11:30 arguing with a washing machine. i will not miss doing laundry. -eli (the #1 hater of laundry)
hello everyone. i had a pretty decent halloween, here is a picture of my costume cleveryly cropped so that you don't see any of my face but not quite so cleverly cropped that you can't see all the garbage i have on my floor. yes i did have a dangling eyeball coming out of a socket thank you very much, i think it tied the whole thing together. plus the whole costume only ended up costing 19 dollars total i think? so that's pretty good as far as things go i think. anyway, i am now thankfully done with midterms, which gives me a brief reprieve until a few days from now when tech for the show i'm working on starts and then right back to busytown i go (busytown population everyone it seems, i think i would like a year off to go be lichen on the side of a stately old elm or something, wouldn't that be nice?) oh well, at least it will be for a fun thing that i like this time. the islanders season has been just completely tragic, a ton of players are out on injury right now and it's hard to watch, they try their best out there every night but being down your top scorers and half your defense isn't something you can just power through. tomorrow night's game will probably be the first one of the season i don't watch because oh yeah the election haha totally forgot except how could i forget someone free me from this nightmare. yknow, normal election feelings. i already voted by mail a month ago so it's a weird kinda detached feeling i guess. i spent most of the last presidental election thinking about supernatural so like. wild times. (side note supernatural was terrible in hindsight, but i sure did watch eight whole seasons of it to get this guy i had a crush on to talk to me. that was not remotely worth it wow i can't believe i did that) i'm trying to think of any other relevant updates. OH i put a song up on my channel, it's like a surf rock inspired thing, would love it if some people checked that out. alright that's everything i can think of for now. i am very slowly working on writing game stuff in the rare moments when i am both not busy and do not want to turn into a bird and fly away. until nest time (get it, because of the bird?) -eli
hello blog readers. i have not been present much on this site and probably still will not be because of midterms and such, but here i am blogging. i haven't been working on my game much either. i would make a second website for it but i kinda don't want to make it on neocities, at least not while i'm building it, cause anyone could stumble on it and look at the pages before it's done. i'm also not totally satisfied with the format yet cause it's super easy to just look into the code and see the answer, and also finding out if you're incorrect right away makes it too easy to lean on a guess and check play style. you would think anybody playing a riddle game wouldn't want to do those things anyway, but i'm still not jazzed about it being an option. i'm sure there's ways to fix things, but i don't really know how to code something more complex than one answer per page yet. the day i figure out how the answer system in planetarium is coded i will become unstoppable. probably i'll find a different hosting platform to build it on and then copy paste it all into neocities when it's finished? idk i should still be focused on writing riddles probably. in other news, the islanders are having a mediocre start to the season, they had one really great game against the avs but the rest of it has been kinda not great. game tonight that will hopefully go well. i've been putting together stuff for my halloween costume and it's looking pretty good i think, i made the fake intestines that are going to hang out of my shirt, i guess the concept is Dead Guy, like imagine a guy who has died badly and that's what it should look like. i might post picutres here but also probably not because my face is part of it. maybe i'll blur my face idk. here's what the guts look like in case i don't put more picutres on here i think it looks pretty decent, probably as good as tights and cotton balls are going to get anyway. that's all for now i guess, i should probably egt back to studying for my midterms now. -eli
i hope this doesn't mess too much with my whole goth computer nerd image i have going on here because it is absolutely true, but i do also really like hockey. i do not enjoy enough sports to connect with sports guys but the enjoyment of any sports at all is somehow still offputting to my theater friends, truly i have the worst of both worlds here as if i were a reverse hannah montanah. jonah arizona? no that's nothing. anyway. the new york islanders are my team, and if you are unfamilliar with hockey they are in that oh-so-painful sweet spot where they're just good enough to set high expecations but not good enough to deliver on them. if they were a worse team you would never get your hopes up, if they were a better team you would be happy more often than you are. so anyway it was their first game of the season and they played a pretty good game, had some good moments, both of their new additions got a score and that was nice. HOWEVER. they had five powerplays (other team causes a penalty and loses a player for a bit) and scored on ONE of them. one of the powerplays was a major one that was four minutes long and wouldn't end if they scored and they STILL did nothing. because they set up all these oppurtunites for themselves but can never capitalize on them. the game went into overtime and then they lost, so at least they got a pity point... the way they play is so frustrating and so engaging and i am dreading but also so excited to watch the rest of these 81 games. if you've never watched hockey before, the season is just starting, why not give it a go? i thought i wasn't a sports person for so long but hockey really works for my attention span (plus a lot of these hockey guys are pretty attractive even if most of them do look like the bully in an 80s teen movie. seriously the isles just picked up anthony duclair and oh man he's the hottest man in hockey if you ask me look him up). i lied about this blog post being short by the way it is the same length as the others i needed all this space for my hockey ramblings as literally nobody i am friends with wants to hear about hockey. also there were supposed to be northern lights but i didn't see them at all so it was just a night of dissapointment all around. oh well that is the wonderful world of sports for you. thanks for indulging my hockey rambles, there will probably be more of them now that the season is starting so you have been warned. okay this post is too long bye -eli
okay so the game has been up for a bit, i'm not even 100% sold on any of the riddles i used really (except the chicken and egg riddle that one is unquestionably good), but as a proof of concept it does the job well enough. i'm still writing more parts but probably don't expect to see more of it any time soon, but i will be working on it i guess. in other life news, remember that production of spelling bee at my college? well i did offically manage to get into the crew for that so yay yippie etc etc. i also have a plan for a halloween costume and i get to make fake intestines for it and everything (out of tights and cottonballs, a lot of internet tutorials were like "buy liquid latex for this one thing" and i'm just simply not going to do that, the best costumes can be made with items from the dollar store and the power of a hot glue gun). anyway i've been feeling kind of out of it lately but i've been trying to get into the Halloween Spirit, i'm learning the moster mash on the piano, it's not that complex but i am kind of a shitty pianist so. it is challenging in the fun way for me at least. but yeah i plan to watch a lot of horror movies and ideally make at least one cover for my channel? i haven't done anything for it since august i think, i just haven't felt motivated really i guess. i used to put out a halloween song every week in october, now it's like i'd rather do anything other than work on the channel, i mean hello look at me writing this blog post right now. i used to really enjoy it but i'm kinda down on it now i guess. i would like to get back to enjoying it i just don't know how to get there, it's weird. oh well, i'll try to get at least one done this month. anyway, i guess that's all for this blog post, not sure what my next plan is for updates to the website, maybe more playlists, we'll see what i'm feeling like doing. maaaybe i will write reviews of some of the horror movies i'm watching. perhaps. alright until next time blog readers -eli
happy new year to everyone celebrating, i for one like the sound of 5785, that's a nice neat number right there. so. i know my last blog post was all like haha maybe i could make a game wouldn't that be nuts. well since then i've been writing a script and working on what would i guess be the first chapter of it. and now i have that first chunk of it totally done, or at least a demo of it. i would literally just have to code it into a webpage and it would be playable (easier said than done i know i know) which is wild to me. i would make another website for it on here but the idea of logging in and out of two accounts seems unpleasant so ugh idk. but i think maybe i'll make the demo on this website and see what people think and then go from there? if i am actually going to make all of what i have planned then it will take a while so i guess i have time to figure out the whole website situation. but yeah i'm excited about it, i'll try to work on getting the demo set up the next few days or so? hope everyone likes riddle games because that's what this is. i don't think any of the riddles i wrote are that complicated, but they are varied in what they are, so it should be a fun experience i guess. stay tuned for but also keep in mind that i came up with all the riddles in like a week so they may not be very well thought through but. fun nonetheless i hope. alright that is all for now, i'll make a post on my neocities page when it's ready to play i guess. -eli(the game developer?? does this count??????)
i get the strongest urge to blog when i'm avoiding doing my homework can you tell? anyway i finished the game planetarium and that's what this blog post is going to be about, because you should totally play planetarium. it's one of those internet riddle games, but it makes you wait real time weeks to get new puzzles, which sounds annoying at first but it is for story reasons and actually got me way more excited about it, i was looking forward to it every week for twelve weeks. it's a very good game and i made a button for it on my home page so if you play it you could add the button to your site and everything. anyway i've been trying to start other riddle games to fill that void but none of them are quite hitting right, they just don't have the charm of planetarium. it really makes me want to make my own riddle game, which i realize i could totally do because making this website taught me html and that's all i would need to make a game like that, like i know how to make links and images and modify text and that's all these games are really. i have the technical skills. though i would have to get a second website i guess. i could just make a new email and make another neocities to start making this game... i should probably draft some ideas first before actually making a site though. could i use this website as an email address and then use that to make another neocities or is that not possible. i don't even know how that works. much to think about. and i still have no ideas for halloween costumes. lots of unanswered questions in this blog. oh well i will think on things, that's all for now -eli
okay well website progress is good, i added buttons and stuff for site neighbors which is fun. maybe i should look into webrings? idk i find groups of people larger than six to be too much to process, at least in person, maybe it's easier through the internet but even discord servers stress me out half the time. it's not like i don't like people because i really do, and i think i'm pretty decent at being fun and charming and whatever, just only in small groups. basically anything larger than your average dnd party and i can't function socially anymore, no clue why it just all collapses. it is a bit nicer on the internet though, especially neocities, i really feel like this is my own little space where i'm comfortable. everyone i meet these days is all like "do you have instagram? oh well you must have snapchat then" and i just feel like a martian around them. not enough to actually use them of course, like i know i'm right about them being invasive and nightmarish (every time my sister shows me snapchat she's using it to track her friends? because the app shows everyone's locations on a map?? why would anyone sign up for this???) but it's still hard to interact with people like that even if i'm in the right. like i use tumblr and occasionally reddit (not any of the shitty dude ones i promise, i'm mostly there for information and open directories) which are about as fractured as you can get with social media, and they still feel too on-rails for me. it's way nicer here, PLUS no ads. i've been spending more time browsing here than anywhere else lately and it feels nice. idk if there was any point to this blog post actually, this webstie is just the one really cool part of my life right now and i wanted to talk about it i guess. okay that's all for now -eli
so. life has been busy, which is not to say that it isn't busy now, just that i'm doing this instead of my homework. so i added another playlist to the playlist page, i'll probably do something with the music page soon, and i'm debating adding a new page related to. piratical schemes. so to speak. giving advice and such i guess, i have a pretty sizeable collection of files that i maintain and organize pretty well, so i feel like i could give good thoughts on the matter of piracy and whatever. i guess the issue it it's like. a crime or something. if you can believe it. so i'm not sure i want evidence of it on my personal website, even though literally everyone does it and it's fine. idk i am dwelling on this. i might delete this whole part of the blog if i decide no though, so this is like a limited edition blog post. anyway i really have to come up with a halloween costume, if it's going to live up to my usual standards i should have started working on it like. a month ago. i just don't feel very inspired i guess, the perfect idea hasn't come to me yet. i've done some really good ones in the past though, like mothman and cousin itt and even a headless horseman with a proper removeable head and everything. my problem is that i'm not satisfied with anything less than a total transformation. just a mask or an outfit is a waste in my mind, ideally there should be no recognizeable pieces of me involved. full monster mode otherwise what is even the point of halloween. honestly i have no ideas though for this year so part of me is like "just get a jason mask" but i could never live that down i'm a man with standards. SEE these are the concepts i go for. you have no idea what i look like from these costumes. it has to be a total transformation and i will settle for nothing less. i just need to think of a good idea soon or it will not have time to turn out good. okay anyway that's the blog post bye -eli
happy september this whole month is kind of a waiting room for halloween for me. i also consider all of october to be halloween. in honor of it kind of being spooky season, have a kind of spooky guy. see, not too scary, perfect september vibes right there. okay anyway, i really am going to do some more work on this site soon, i'm working on more playlists and finally expanding the music page to be an actual page. college is collegeing, i'm trying to get involved in the theater tech stuff going on cause there's a lot of it here, which is nice for what is not at all a theater school. everyone likes events i guess. idk if i've talked about it a lot here or if it's just easy to get from my established vibe of "guy who wears all black and is always stressed about the ten thousand things he's doing even though those things are all kind of silly," but i have indeed been doing stage crew stuff since middle school and don't plan to stop now. nowadays i mostly do sound tech, which i find very interesting and fun, so hopefully i get to do some of that. the big production this semester is the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee, which is a show i love and will literally explode if i don't get to be involved with at least a little, so like. things to look forward to i guess. if i have any time left over with work from classes once i'm doing tech stuff i think i'll try to find a dnd group to join, i'm typically the forever dm back home but managing a campaign on top pof everything seems way impossible so like. i'll probably just play another bard or maybe a cleric. i like playing support characters, my theory is that there's such a lack of them because everyone who likes playing support is busy dming. i mean what is being a dungeon master besides supporting the other characters so they succeed in cool ways. unless you're running like some tomb of horrors shit i guess but i'm always coming at it from a "you're the players' number one fan" sort of perspective so, not my angle at least. anyway this post is getting kind of long, or it least it looks that way from writing it in the html (is this how it's supposed to be done? is it going to get really annoying and load weird when i have a bunch of posts on here or does text not take that much effort to load. these are all things i should probably know but alas i am not a coding expert or even a coding knowledgeable person. i'm sure i should at least be putting line breaks in here just to make the writing more intelligible but i will not be doing that because i personally enjoy large blocks of text that flow like a cool stream and if that's not to your personal tastes then that's fine and you're entitled to your opinions and have a nice day enjoy this total lack of punctuation i'm sure you wont. oh yeah this was in a parethesis wasn't it. i get the feeling these posts are not a great reading experience). OKAY blog post over -eli
so i'm like. in college now. that's a thing that happened in the past week. literally nothing has happened yet it's all orientation stuff which is boring and also kind of garbage as well. they keep asking me to talk to people like buddy i can't even talk to people on the computer what do you expect me to do in a circle of 30 random people. i hope when classes start it'll be easier because at least then i can talk about what we're doing in class instead of "so you go here too huh" which i am already so tired of. in other news i got a buffy comic, favorite show of all time but i've never touched the comics, so excited to read it and see if they are worth lookimg into. making this website has made me vaguely interested in taking computer science stuff but not more than the part of me that knows it will be hard and frightening so. probably not ever haha. it is crazy though like everything is scary to me lately it's like that one car seat headrest song. you know the one where he talks for most of the song instead of singing and it's just a weird ramble about his various problems. that one. anyway that's enough panicked nonsense for one blog post i think, i'll probably update the website soon unless i don't. for reasons. -eli
saw coraline. so so very good (as is known about it), i'm not usually a 3d guy but the 3d worked so well there. anyway today i got to enjoy what's probably my last time at the beach for the summer, love the beach if the ocean has no fans i am no longer on this earth etc etc. the waves were crazy and everything because of a storm that passed, which like the storm sucked but i love crazy waves so, silver linings i guess. i don't know if i'd be able to live somewhere not on a coast, like if i can't see the ocean every so often i get sad. this is a small blog post. -eli
by the next blog post taking three days i meant a week. this was an example of subverting expectations and not me forgetting to blog for a week. anyway nothing major has happened in my life i guess, i went minigolfing with my friends and i'm going to see the coraline remaster tomorrow (very exciting hooray). i made a site button, it's extremely bare bones and does not look cool like the other ones i've seen so maybe i'll work on making a better one. i'm still working on making more playlists to add to the tunes page, and i guess i should start working on some sort of list of artists i like to add to the music page. idk website progress has been slow, i've been focusing on packing a lot since i'm moving into a dorm in like a week, pretty wild right? i'm kinda not ready for summer to end, i got too used to wearing flip flops everywhere (which is clearly the most major change that this summer ending will bring. no more flip flops. obviously). anyway it's a weird time, i have to get better at keeping in touch with people digitally, cause i'm not going to see them in person a lot anymore. i'm a notoriously bad texter, i'm great in face-to-face conversations but talking online is hard for me, ironic for someone who's constantly online right? anyway i'm trying to work on it, so hopefully i get better at staying in touch with people. anyway yeah, that's about it for this blog post, here's a picture of my dog -eli (the dog's name is brownie and she is a rapscallion who is either sleeping or causing trouble. i love her a whole lot)
this is really setting the precedent that i write these every two days, isn't it? well i'm definitely not promising that, if i had a schedule it woud feel too rigid. maybe the next post will take three days, who knows. anyway i am putting a lot of effort into this website right now, i think mostly because all of the real life areas of my life are major disasters in ways i will not be getting into, but suffice it to say none of them are really things i have control over, so it's nice to have control over this. i got a playlist page working finally, i could not for the life of me figure out how to get the song players with playlists that some people have on here to work, so i just joined my playlist together in one big mp3 and stored it on a different website, which was actually really simple and nice. now i can even make multiple playlists and stuff, pretty good solution in my book. in the news of music that i like, motion city soundtrack has a new single out and it's really good (and apparently the credits song to some movie called didi that i hadn't even heard of but now i definitely want to watch). also jimmie's chicken shack has an album out which hasn't happened since like. 2007 i think, which is wild. anyway they has already released most of it as singles but it's still pretty good, i don't think it has the energy of the earlier stuff but that's probably just them getting older and not a drop in quality. anyway those have been bright spots in my otherwise stressful current situations, next week i'm going to see the 3d coraline remaster with a friend (neil gaiman has been accused of some shit and i'm sure it's probably true, but also i already bought the tickets so. idk. i'm just trying to look at it as a laika movie, i love laika their craft is unparalleled, coraline is so good and paranorman is probably one of my favorite movies like. ever. stop motion is so cool, like all animation is a crazy amount of work but with stop motion you have something physical at the end of it, and laika uses such inventive techniques for making their characters and sets and it's all so good. okay laika tangent over). all this to say my life has been crazy but i'm getting through it, probably my next step on this website is to add more playlists cause that was fun, and i guess make a site button? that's one thing i'm iffy on cause i can do a lot but visual art isn't exactly my wheelhouse, idk i'll see what i can do. i'm looking for ideas for things to add i guess is what i'm saying. okay that's all folks end of blog post -eli (i've decided it isn't actually obvious that i'm making the blog posts even though it's my website. what about identity theft, past me. did you think of that? or is it "did i?" too confusing, post script cancelled)
what is up, potential readers of this blog page. today i failed my road test so no driver's liscence for me. oh well nobody got hurt or anything i just hit the curb. i'll just have to reschedule and try again, hopefully on a day where i got more sleep than last night (which was none. nerves i guess. who can say for sure) and it'll go better. to be honest though driving scares me and i hope to not have to do it very often once i get my liscence, the whole process gives me the wiggins. anyway i'm cheering myself up by watching the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee again, love that show, always cheers me up (until the i love you song anyway, why does it have to be so sad...). not sure what else to say in this one, not feeling spectacular about failing but it's not that big a deal at the end of the day, it's whatever. when i pass the test i'll put like. trumpet fanfare in the blog post for that day. i don't even know how to do that i'll figure it out. is this what blogging is supposed to be like i have a tumblr so i should know but i never blog on there i just reblog stuff. whatever i don't think anybody is reading this i could say anything here. ... cowabunga ... that doesn't count i say that in real life. i'll think of something more computery later -eli (obviously though right like it's my website who else would be writing these)
i'm writing this post and i don't really have much to write about, i guess. i made this website because my beloved tumblr blog of many years was marked explicit incorrectly and it took them three weeks to fix it (they literally just fixed it today thanks staff) [that was sarcastic i feel like they could have done it a little sooner probably]. anyway what i liked about tumblr was the ability to have my own website that i could design the layout of and add cool html elements to, which surprise being marked explicit takes away. i would spend so much time tweaking the theme of my blog to be cooler and cooler and then BAM it's gone for no reason. so anyway i decided i would learn to code for real and make a website here instead, since i had always thought that seemed cool but way too hard. turns out it is very hard, but i'm enjoying myself and it's been way more customizable than my tumblr ever was, which i guess is the tradeoff for having to build it myself (although "myself" is being generous, a lot of it was looking at cooler websites on here and staring at their code and writing what they wrote with different colors and stuff. is that what coding is idk i feel like i've been cheating a litte haha). now my tumblr is back online which i guess makes this website kinda pointless now, but i don't really want to get rid of it. i kinda want to keep updating it and making it cooler, it feels more mine than my tumblr even though it's still hosted on a different website, but idk i can put gifs wherever i want on here so that's something at least. see look at that isn't that great. idk, it's been fun and i want to stick with this place, we'll see how much i update. okay that's pretty much it for this first post, bye. -eli
